I figured I would post something a little different. Here's a poem I wrote while suffering from cabin fever in the wee hours of the morning.
Maybe I
Maybe I should forget that we ever… even… met
I should sit and pretend that the pain lying within is a figment of my wildest imagination
As if all that time wasted was merely a misguided, mythical creation
Like a dream or better yet a nightmare that was only meant to scare, me into waking up and making the right decisions
An inception meant to lead me in the opposite direction; away from you
Maybe I could replace your face with an empty grey space while working to erase any trace that you’ve left behind
And in your place I would plant memories of laughter and happiness pulled from the corners of my mind
Save myself the “should have, would have and could haves”
Because I didn’t and wouldn’t and couldn’t have acted any differently than I did back then
I just hate having to rehash this thing again… and again
Playing it all back in my head like for some reason, this time, things will come to a less bitter-sweet end
So maybe instead of merely pretending I never met you I’ll take the steps to forget you
I’d rather do that than have to confess and say
That I regret the day I ever met you, let you in and hoped you’d stay
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
You Are What You Eat
No, this isnt a post about food. I guess a more fitting title would have been, "You Are Who You Meet", but that didn't sound catchy enough for me. Anywho...
One of my friends (Hey Kourtney!) brought up a topic which I definitely thought was interesting enough to write about here. To paraphrase, she heard someone saying that they felt that you are who you attract and that if you desire to be in a relationship but are entering the situation with fear and/or limited confidence those feelings will manifest themselves.
At first glance, I didn't agree with this but once I reeeeeally thought about this, I felt like the aforementioned is dead on. Whether we realize it or not, we sense each other's emotions/each other's auras if I may dare to have a "flowerchild" moment. For example, if someone has a weak aura that lacks confidence, they will more than likely draw in people who not only also have weak auras but lack that same confidence and thus the two will spend their whole relationship feeding off of each others insecurities.
I don't agree with the theory that opposites attract; they do attract but rarely are they successful at staying together. The same goes for people who are exactly the same; eventually someone is going to get tired of looking in the mirror everyday. I do however think that in successful relationships, the two people need to compliment each other. Kind of like puzzle pieces; the two entitites are different but they end up fitting together because one piece has the missing parts that the other needs in order to be completed.
Looking at the successful relationships that I know, this is most often the case; my parents included. My mother has a more outgoing, somewhat in your face personality while my dad is much more subdued and laid back. They both needed each other to balance themselves out. Somebody has to be able to calm my mom down and someone needed to be able to save my dad from spending every waking hour reading newspapers and magazines. I guess my theory is akin to that of the yin and yang.
I also thought about myself here. I believe that I would totally enjoy being in a relationship right now but honestly, that's probably not the aura I currently give off. I think about my recent response to being asked THE question, "Why are you single?" and my immediate response (aside from a mini tantrum in my head) was that I'm focusing on figuring out what I need to do and where I need to go with my life. Thinking back on that answer, I really had to question the fact that that actually came out of my mouth. How can I say I'm ready and willing to work on getting to the point where I can say I want to be in a relationship with someone if I don't even have me together?
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I have to be completely settled and together to be with someone, but if I'm giving off the vibe that I'm not ready to spend time exploring what it would be like with someone else, how can I hope to attract a guy who is ready for that? I think about the past couple guys I've talked to, they were all good, possibly great guys and one day they will make someone very happy but none of them were ready to be in a real relationship. For a while I wondered if it was me, maybe I was doing something wrong. But after spending time thinking about this theory, I now see that it isn't "me" in the sense that I need to improve on my personality or change my look, but it is "me" in the sense that my aura is all wrong.
No one really wants to be in a serious relationship with someone who's life is in limbo. I know I would have my own reservations about it, so how can I expect someone to look at me with my life in somewhat of a quarter-century life disarray and say, "hey, I'll take on the challenge". Granted, that would be great, but most guys and people in general don't have that much patience.
So since we all know that you are what you eat, maybe I'll go ahead and get on a "focused and optimistic" diet.
Thoughts anyone?
One of my friends (Hey Kourtney!) brought up a topic which I definitely thought was interesting enough to write about here. To paraphrase, she heard someone saying that they felt that you are who you attract and that if you desire to be in a relationship but are entering the situation with fear and/or limited confidence those feelings will manifest themselves.
At first glance, I didn't agree with this but once I reeeeeally thought about this, I felt like the aforementioned is dead on. Whether we realize it or not, we sense each other's emotions/each other's auras if I may dare to have a "flowerchild" moment. For example, if someone has a weak aura that lacks confidence, they will more than likely draw in people who not only also have weak auras but lack that same confidence and thus the two will spend their whole relationship feeding off of each others insecurities.
I don't agree with the theory that opposites attract; they do attract but rarely are they successful at staying together. The same goes for people who are exactly the same; eventually someone is going to get tired of looking in the mirror everyday. I do however think that in successful relationships, the two people need to compliment each other. Kind of like puzzle pieces; the two entitites are different but they end up fitting together because one piece has the missing parts that the other needs in order to be completed.
Looking at the successful relationships that I know, this is most often the case; my parents included. My mother has a more outgoing, somewhat in your face personality while my dad is much more subdued and laid back. They both needed each other to balance themselves out. Somebody has to be able to calm my mom down and someone needed to be able to save my dad from spending every waking hour reading newspapers and magazines. I guess my theory is akin to that of the yin and yang.
I also thought about myself here. I believe that I would totally enjoy being in a relationship right now but honestly, that's probably not the aura I currently give off. I think about my recent response to being asked THE question, "Why are you single?" and my immediate response (aside from a mini tantrum in my head) was that I'm focusing on figuring out what I need to do and where I need to go with my life. Thinking back on that answer, I really had to question the fact that that actually came out of my mouth. How can I say I'm ready and willing to work on getting to the point where I can say I want to be in a relationship with someone if I don't even have me together?
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I have to be completely settled and together to be with someone, but if I'm giving off the vibe that I'm not ready to spend time exploring what it would be like with someone else, how can I hope to attract a guy who is ready for that? I think about the past couple guys I've talked to, they were all good, possibly great guys and one day they will make someone very happy but none of them were ready to be in a real relationship. For a while I wondered if it was me, maybe I was doing something wrong. But after spending time thinking about this theory, I now see that it isn't "me" in the sense that I need to improve on my personality or change my look, but it is "me" in the sense that my aura is all wrong.
No one really wants to be in a serious relationship with someone who's life is in limbo. I know I would have my own reservations about it, so how can I expect someone to look at me with my life in somewhat of a quarter-century life disarray and say, "hey, I'll take on the challenge". Granted, that would be great, but most guys and people in general don't have that much patience.
So since we all know that you are what you eat, maybe I'll go ahead and get on a "focused and optimistic" diet.
Thoughts anyone?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I Resolve To...
After a month long(+) holiday hiatus, I'm back and better than ever!
Welcome to 2011 folks! It sounds crazy just to say that. Of course with the arrival of December 31st, came the outpouring of resolutions and vows we have promised to keep over the course of the year. So many of us make these outlandish resolutions that we know we probably have no plans to keep.
Let's be serious, we are probably making the same promise, just in different verbage, that we made to ourselves and failed to uphold last year. "I'm going to lose 15 lbs." "I'm going to stop smoking/drinking so much." "I'm going to be a nicer person." (-_-) That was the "side-eye" face just incase you aren't in the know.
I've decided that instead of making a resolution that I know I have no intentions of keeping just because it sounds good to say, I would make one that really means something. Here it goes:
I resolve to be the best me for not just myself, but also my family & friends. Honestly, I love this resolution and I love it because it truly is so general that you can't help but accomplish it. I've even further broken it down into several sub-goals that would help me satisfy this year's goal. Truth is, I may not fulfill all of these and sometimes I may be lead astray but if I can just keep these in my head I know I'll at least be on my way.
1. Volunteer
On Christmas morning just past, I spent 3 hours volunteering in the DC Central Kitchen. I had never heard of this organization until I went in search of a good deed to perform for the holidays. DC Central Kitchen prepares hundreds of meals each day for the city's homeless and needy; however, it's not your average soup kitchen. Volunteering at this org. didn't mean ladeling soup and passing out turkey. I along with my syblings and fellow volunteers, chopped meat and vegetables, picked greens and even helped to actually cook some of the items that were going to be served. After having such a positive experience here, I've decided that once I obtain a position that frees up my weekends, I will spend at least one Saturday morning a month volunteering there.
2. Minimize my "woe is me, I miss New York" antics
Yikes! This will probably be the most difficult hurdle for me to jump over, so if it takes me until about May or so to do, don't say I didn't warn you. DC is not New York, it never will be. But I suppose that's the beauty of the DC (see how I gave that a positive spin, I'm really trying here). Back in August, I made a tough life decision and the truth is that I actually don't regret it. I do however think that my expectation for how quickly I would feel settled and have my new life up and running were quite unrealistic. I haven't lived in DC fulltime since 2003. The city has changed, my friends have changed, my family has changed and most of all, I've changed. So for me to expect that things would simply fall back into place was unfair to me and this experience as a whole.
3. I will not let men cloud my judgment
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I'll admit that at times, I allow the wool to be pulled over my eyes. But don't get it twisted, I know when it's happening and I'm not stupid. I'm a single woman who has lonely moments and sometimes I just like to play along. I am promising myself that I will no longer allow those men who are sometimey and full of air to have any place in my life. Such actions put me in a bad headspace and a bad mood, thus effecting my ability to be the best me possible. If you never check to see how I'm doing or initiate conversation with me, like to play games, want to treat me like a yo-yo, or practice any other foolishness akin to the aforementioned, you have officially been erased. Buh-bye.
4. Try something new
I would love to travel abroad, go skiing, go skydiving, take Samba and pole dancing lessons, sing infront of a crowd and learn to speak fluent Spanish with Rosetta Stone. The likelihood of all those things happening in the next 358 days is highly unlikely. If I do just oooone of these things I really feel like I can check this one off. Experience is not just the best teacher, but it also helps you grow. I want to try new things in order to broaden the scope of who I am.
5. Curb my spending habits
I'm not going to say that I'm going to stop shopping cold turkey, because quite frankly I'm not. However, I will vow to shop less. The more digits I see in my bank account, the happier I am. This may mean that that Alexander Wang bag I've been eyeballing at Barney's Co-op may just have to stay on the shelf (at least until it gets marked down, ha!).
6. Be a better blogger :o)
I, Diana, do so solemnly promise to be a better blogger. I will try my best not to go on any more month long hiatuses and keep my posts updated and fresh. If there's something you all would like to see me write about or maybe you wish I did something on here differently, just let me know. I'm always open to suggestions.
So this is my New Year's resolution broken down into pieces. What's yours??
Welcome to 2011 folks! It sounds crazy just to say that. Of course with the arrival of December 31st, came the outpouring of resolutions and vows we have promised to keep over the course of the year. So many of us make these outlandish resolutions that we know we probably have no plans to keep.
Let's be serious, we are probably making the same promise, just in different verbage, that we made to ourselves and failed to uphold last year. "I'm going to lose 15 lbs." "I'm going to stop smoking/drinking so much." "I'm going to be a nicer person." (-_-) That was the "side-eye" face just incase you aren't in the know.
I've decided that instead of making a resolution that I know I have no intentions of keeping just because it sounds good to say, I would make one that really means something. Here it goes:
I resolve to be the best me for not just myself, but also my family & friends. Honestly, I love this resolution and I love it because it truly is so general that you can't help but accomplish it. I've even further broken it down into several sub-goals that would help me satisfy this year's goal. Truth is, I may not fulfill all of these and sometimes I may be lead astray but if I can just keep these in my head I know I'll at least be on my way.
1. Volunteer
On Christmas morning just past, I spent 3 hours volunteering in the DC Central Kitchen. I had never heard of this organization until I went in search of a good deed to perform for the holidays. DC Central Kitchen prepares hundreds of meals each day for the city's homeless and needy; however, it's not your average soup kitchen. Volunteering at this org. didn't mean ladeling soup and passing out turkey. I along with my syblings and fellow volunteers, chopped meat and vegetables, picked greens and even helped to actually cook some of the items that were going to be served. After having such a positive experience here, I've decided that once I obtain a position that frees up my weekends, I will spend at least one Saturday morning a month volunteering there.
2. Minimize my "woe is me, I miss New York" antics
Yikes! This will probably be the most difficult hurdle for me to jump over, so if it takes me until about May or so to do, don't say I didn't warn you. DC is not New York, it never will be. But I suppose that's the beauty of the DC (see how I gave that a positive spin, I'm really trying here). Back in August, I made a tough life decision and the truth is that I actually don't regret it. I do however think that my expectation for how quickly I would feel settled and have my new life up and running were quite unrealistic. I haven't lived in DC fulltime since 2003. The city has changed, my friends have changed, my family has changed and most of all, I've changed. So for me to expect that things would simply fall back into place was unfair to me and this experience as a whole.
3. I will not let men cloud my judgment
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I'll admit that at times, I allow the wool to be pulled over my eyes. But don't get it twisted, I know when it's happening and I'm not stupid. I'm a single woman who has lonely moments and sometimes I just like to play along. I am promising myself that I will no longer allow those men who are sometimey and full of air to have any place in my life. Such actions put me in a bad headspace and a bad mood, thus effecting my ability to be the best me possible. If you never check to see how I'm doing or initiate conversation with me, like to play games, want to treat me like a yo-yo, or practice any other foolishness akin to the aforementioned, you have officially been erased. Buh-bye.
4. Try something new
I would love to travel abroad, go skiing, go skydiving, take Samba and pole dancing lessons, sing infront of a crowd and learn to speak fluent Spanish with Rosetta Stone. The likelihood of all those things happening in the next 358 days is highly unlikely. If I do just oooone of these things I really feel like I can check this one off. Experience is not just the best teacher, but it also helps you grow. I want to try new things in order to broaden the scope of who I am.
5. Curb my spending habits
I'm not going to say that I'm going to stop shopping cold turkey, because quite frankly I'm not. However, I will vow to shop less. The more digits I see in my bank account, the happier I am. This may mean that that Alexander Wang bag I've been eyeballing at Barney's Co-op may just have to stay on the shelf (at least until it gets marked down, ha!).
6. Be a better blogger :o)
I, Diana, do so solemnly promise to be a better blogger. I will try my best not to go on any more month long hiatuses and keep my posts updated and fresh. If there's something you all would like to see me write about or maybe you wish I did something on here differently, just let me know. I'm always open to suggestions.
So this is my New Year's resolution broken down into pieces. What's yours??
Monday, November 22, 2010
Guilty Pleasures
As I wrap my mind around all these recent reports on the near extinction of conventional marriage, I decided to take a mental break and write about something a tad bit lighter than usual. Guilty pleasures.
Rihanna & Nicki Minaj
As much as I truly think I dislike these chics, I can't keep myself from bobbing my head or singing along to every damn song they put out. Rihanna is about as talentless as it gets, but I swear she gets the best pop songs the industry has to offer these days. And I think anything and everything I could have to say about Nicki Minaj has already been said. Fake boobies, nose, booty and all there's something hypnotic about her psychotic persona and 'Cat in the Hat' rhymes.
Misogynistic Hood Music
I'm a Spelman woman. I state that to say there are certain songs I'm not supposed to condone(ie. Tip Drill, She Got A Donk, Beat it Up). However, when the beat drops on these songs all my common sense goes out the window and before I know it, I'm droppin it like it's hot lol. It's like the more the song screams, "next coming to the stage is Mocha Kisses, get those dollas out!" the more I like it!
Asian Food
I don't care if it's Chinese, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese or chicken wings, french fries and mumbo sauce from the carry out; if Asian hands have touched it, I gotta have it. Already this week, I've had Asian food twice and I plan on having it again tomorrow.
Getting A Touch Up
Natural haired women, please don't slay me for this one. I had natural hair until I was 20 years old. Now that I've sampled the creamy crack, I just don't think there's any going back for me. It's not because I think it's easier; there is nothing easy at all about sitting in the hairdresser for 4 hours, I just like the way it makes me feel. Like my soul is glowing or something lol.
Singing in the Shower
If there were Grammys for shower singing, I'd win every award. My shower singing is pretty serious. I'll stay in the shower until my toes and fingers prune up because I've gotten so wrapped up in my shower tunes lol. I never sing though if I know someone is right outside the bathroom.
Coke
As in Coca-Cola, not blow lol. Most people who know me know that all I usually drink is water and gingerale but there comes a time, like once every other month when I just get a taste for Coke. Not diet Coke or Coke Zero but the regular, 300 calorie a bottle Coke. It's really odd but when I get the get the crazing, I gotta have it.
Snapped*
Want to know what I'm tuning into while everybody else is getting riled up over Sunday afternoon football?? Wonder no more because I'm telling you right now that it's Snapped. That show is full of pure craziness but I swear my eyes are glued for like 4 hours straight. It's like a real life Law & Order or something.
Hookah
Veranda in NYC, Chi Cha and Soussi in DC. I have a problem and I'll leave it at that lol.
Victoria's Secret
Noone's under garments should all come from the same place. I mean every single piece I own comes from this one store! It's like I walk in and I just can't help myself lol. The whole PINK line and my new found interest in lingerie(FYI, I only think it looks interesting lol) make it hard for me to resist. AND I absolutely adore their Cheeksters; forget those $18 Hanky Pankies and the Commandos.
Welp, that's all I've got for you guys; at least that's all I'm willing to share. C'mon now, my mother reads this blog lol.
What are some of your guilty pleasures?? Don't be shy!
*This admittance is also a warning lol
Rihanna & Nicki Minaj
As much as I truly think I dislike these chics, I can't keep myself from bobbing my head or singing along to every damn song they put out. Rihanna is about as talentless as it gets, but I swear she gets the best pop songs the industry has to offer these days. And I think anything and everything I could have to say about Nicki Minaj has already been said. Fake boobies, nose, booty and all there's something hypnotic about her psychotic persona and 'Cat in the Hat' rhymes.
Misogynistic Hood Music
I'm a Spelman woman. I state that to say there are certain songs I'm not supposed to condone(ie. Tip Drill, She Got A Donk, Beat it Up). However, when the beat drops on these songs all my common sense goes out the window and before I know it, I'm droppin it like it's hot lol. It's like the more the song screams, "next coming to the stage is Mocha Kisses, get those dollas out!" the more I like it!
Asian Food
I don't care if it's Chinese, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese or chicken wings, french fries and mumbo sauce from the carry out; if Asian hands have touched it, I gotta have it. Already this week, I've had Asian food twice and I plan on having it again tomorrow.
Getting A Touch Up
Natural haired women, please don't slay me for this one. I had natural hair until I was 20 years old. Now that I've sampled the creamy crack, I just don't think there's any going back for me. It's not because I think it's easier; there is nothing easy at all about sitting in the hairdresser for 4 hours, I just like the way it makes me feel. Like my soul is glowing or something lol.
Singing in the Shower
If there were Grammys for shower singing, I'd win every award. My shower singing is pretty serious. I'll stay in the shower until my toes and fingers prune up because I've gotten so wrapped up in my shower tunes lol. I never sing though if I know someone is right outside the bathroom.
Coke
As in Coca-Cola, not blow lol. Most people who know me know that all I usually drink is water and gingerale but there comes a time, like once every other month when I just get a taste for Coke. Not diet Coke or Coke Zero but the regular, 300 calorie a bottle Coke. It's really odd but when I get the get the crazing, I gotta have it.
Snapped*
Want to know what I'm tuning into while everybody else is getting riled up over Sunday afternoon football?? Wonder no more because I'm telling you right now that it's Snapped. That show is full of pure craziness but I swear my eyes are glued for like 4 hours straight. It's like a real life Law & Order or something.
Hookah
Veranda in NYC, Chi Cha and Soussi in DC. I have a problem and I'll leave it at that lol.
Victoria's Secret
Noone's under garments should all come from the same place. I mean every single piece I own comes from this one store! It's like I walk in and I just can't help myself lol. The whole PINK line and my new found interest in lingerie(FYI, I only think it looks interesting lol) make it hard for me to resist. AND I absolutely adore their Cheeksters; forget those $18 Hanky Pankies and the Commandos.
Welp, that's all I've got for you guys; at least that's all I'm willing to share. C'mon now, my mother reads this blog lol.
What are some of your guilty pleasures?? Don't be shy!
*This admittance is also a warning lol
Friday, November 19, 2010
What I'm Looking For
A couple weeks ago I was talking to one of my guy friends and out of the blue he posed the following question:
"What are you looking for right now?"
I'll admit, the question threw me for a bit of a loop because it wasn't something we had ever discussed before or saw coming. I initially thought of just brushing the questions off and pretending like I didn't know what he meant, but I knew exactly what he was trying to ask me.
This is a question that I've actually posed myself, and every time that I've asked, I knew that what I really wanted to know was "what do you want from me?". All of a sudden I felt what guys all over the world must feel like when a woman throws them off balance with this question. Was this a trick question? Was there a catch depending on my response. I honestly didn't know what to say. My only response was, "I really don't know" and that was the absolute truth.
For so long I thought I knew what I wanted. When I was living in NYC, you couldn't tell me that I didn't want to be on an express train to Marriedville. But now that my life is totally different and every aspect of it is up in the air, that train has just about slowed to a stop.
It wasn't until the other night that I finally realized what it is that I'm actually looking for right now: a bestfriend. I want someone to be there not only in my times of succes but in my times of struggle. Someone to care enough to check and see how my day was, to listen to me and laugh at my jokes. Someone that can answer all my annoying questions about sports and won't mind spending time exploring my favorites places and hobbies. And at the same time, I want to be able to do the same for someone else.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
As I have matured and really come into my own as a woman, I've begun to realize that deciding to be in a relationship with a man should not be a hasty decision. How can I really say I want to be with someone that I hardly even know? I need to be able to get to know someone inside and out. What's their favorite color? Pet peeves? How do they react when someone makes them upset? Do they leave the cap off the toothpaste? You all get what I mean.
In the past I was too quick to say I wanted to be serious with somebody when I hadn't even gotten to know them. I was setting myself up for failure and didn't even realize it. By not developing that friendship first I would end up not getting to see who they really were until things started to fall a part.
So the next time when anyone asks me what I'm looking for... the only response I will have for them is "my bestfriend".
"What are you looking for right now?"
I'll admit, the question threw me for a bit of a loop because it wasn't something we had ever discussed before or saw coming. I initially thought of just brushing the questions off and pretending like I didn't know what he meant, but I knew exactly what he was trying to ask me.
This is a question that I've actually posed myself, and every time that I've asked, I knew that what I really wanted to know was "what do you want from me?". All of a sudden I felt what guys all over the world must feel like when a woman throws them off balance with this question. Was this a trick question? Was there a catch depending on my response. I honestly didn't know what to say. My only response was, "I really don't know" and that was the absolute truth.
For so long I thought I knew what I wanted. When I was living in NYC, you couldn't tell me that I didn't want to be on an express train to Marriedville. But now that my life is totally different and every aspect of it is up in the air, that train has just about slowed to a stop.
It wasn't until the other night that I finally realized what it is that I'm actually looking for right now: a bestfriend. I want someone to be there not only in my times of succes but in my times of struggle. Someone to care enough to check and see how my day was, to listen to me and laugh at my jokes. Someone that can answer all my annoying questions about sports and won't mind spending time exploring my favorites places and hobbies. And at the same time, I want to be able to do the same for someone else.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
As I have matured and really come into my own as a woman, I've begun to realize that deciding to be in a relationship with a man should not be a hasty decision. How can I really say I want to be with someone that I hardly even know? I need to be able to get to know someone inside and out. What's their favorite color? Pet peeves? How do they react when someone makes them upset? Do they leave the cap off the toothpaste? You all get what I mean.
In the past I was too quick to say I wanted to be serious with somebody when I hadn't even gotten to know them. I was setting myself up for failure and didn't even realize it. By not developing that friendship first I would end up not getting to see who they really were until things started to fall a part.
So the next time when anyone asks me what I'm looking for... the only response I will have for them is "my bestfriend".
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
For Colored Girls... And Boys
Today I went to see For Colored Girls. Alone, I sat in the theatre actually afraid of what it was that I was about to see. There have been quite a few reviews done of this movie and having had the opportunity to read a couple, I was a bit leery of what I was about to watch. I'm not much of a Tyler Perry fan but seeing as the movie was based off of Ntozake Shange's 1975 poem, I figured it would be worth a shot.
And me oh my, was I correct. The film is absolutely amazing, definitely Oscar worthy. I will even go so far as to say that something, which I can't quite put my finger on, is even beautiful about this movie. It may have been the numerous moving sililoques, derived from Shange's work, which are littered throughout the film and flow like an emotional song from the actresses lips.
One of the most scathing reviews I read on For Colored Girls, was written by Washington Post columnist, Courtland Milloy. Throughout his review he bemoans the fact that black men are being bashed in this film and that most recent movies fail to show black men in a positive light. Well, I have one thing to say in response to his critique: this movie ain't about y'all! And the fact alone that Milloy and other reviewers fail to recognize this is exactly the problem. It doesn't surprise me that many negative reviews have come from men. If you aren't guilty, I don't see the point in viciously attacking this film.
The movie, as well as the original work is about the many faces of black female disempowerment. It's not about calling out black men who have abused, cheated on and lied to black women. It is however about calling out to black women and saying that even though your struggle may be different than mine, I hear you. And I call out to you so that we may come together and reclaim the power that so many of us simply give away; "Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff" anyone??
I ask that not only black women see this film, but black men as well. Actually, I want black men to see this even more. For many women, the stories told in this film are our own so in viewing this piece we are simply watching our stories, our friend's stories, our mother's stories being played out on the big screen. But men, you need to see the different effects that negative & hurtful male actions have had and continue to have on women, some of these being women in your lives. There is no reason why a poem written in 1974 should even still be just as relevant for us in the year 2010 as it was then. Something(s) needs to change.
For Colored Girls does an excellect job of showing the emotional response of women, not only to the pain inflicted upon us by men but the pain we bring into our own lives. If you're simply looking at this movie as a male bashing session, you will totally miss that point. So to the critiques out there who can't see past the fact that this is a Tyler Perry film or that it's a film featuring a majority female cast, my only note to you is to simply get over yourself.
And me oh my, was I correct. The film is absolutely amazing, definitely Oscar worthy. I will even go so far as to say that something, which I can't quite put my finger on, is even beautiful about this movie. It may have been the numerous moving sililoques, derived from Shange's work, which are littered throughout the film and flow like an emotional song from the actresses lips.
One of the most scathing reviews I read on For Colored Girls, was written by Washington Post columnist, Courtland Milloy. Throughout his review he bemoans the fact that black men are being bashed in this film and that most recent movies fail to show black men in a positive light. Well, I have one thing to say in response to his critique: this movie ain't about y'all! And the fact alone that Milloy and other reviewers fail to recognize this is exactly the problem. It doesn't surprise me that many negative reviews have come from men. If you aren't guilty, I don't see the point in viciously attacking this film.
The movie, as well as the original work is about the many faces of black female disempowerment. It's not about calling out black men who have abused, cheated on and lied to black women. It is however about calling out to black women and saying that even though your struggle may be different than mine, I hear you. And I call out to you so that we may come together and reclaim the power that so many of us simply give away; "Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff" anyone??
I ask that not only black women see this film, but black men as well. Actually, I want black men to see this even more. For many women, the stories told in this film are our own so in viewing this piece we are simply watching our stories, our friend's stories, our mother's stories being played out on the big screen. But men, you need to see the different effects that negative & hurtful male actions have had and continue to have on women, some of these being women in your lives. There is no reason why a poem written in 1974 should even still be just as relevant for us in the year 2010 as it was then. Something(s) needs to change.
For Colored Girls does an excellect job of showing the emotional response of women, not only to the pain inflicted upon us by men but the pain we bring into our own lives. If you're simply looking at this movie as a male bashing session, you will totally miss that point. So to the critiques out there who can't see past the fact that this is a Tyler Perry film or that it's a film featuring a majority female cast, my only note to you is to simply get over yourself.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Who the Hell Wants to Get Married??
Video Sundaaay!
So this is a clip from last week's episode of House of Glam. It was my first time watching the show but from what I saw it actually seems to be worth watching. But anyway, something about this clip disturbed me.
Here you have this successful business woman, Brandi, who has two kids by and lives with her boyfriend of seven years... *crickets*. Already there is something wrong with that picture but take a look at this clip which features a conversation that occured during a dinner party being held at Brandi's home.
Am I the only one who sees something wrong and just disrespectful about this whole conversation? I'm not even going to delve into the fact that Brandi is only fooling herself if she thinks anyone else believes that she's okay with not being married to this man. There were just so many things that bothered me here: the friend having the audacity to bring up the situation at a dinner party, Brandi's boo being referred to as a king by his friends because he has been allowed to live the married life but isn't married, her boo telling his friends he doesn't want to get married. Too much.
But anyway, watch and discuss folks.
So this is a clip from last week's episode of House of Glam. It was my first time watching the show but from what I saw it actually seems to be worth watching. But anyway, something about this clip disturbed me.
Here you have this successful business woman, Brandi, who has two kids by and lives with her boyfriend of seven years... *crickets*. Already there is something wrong with that picture but take a look at this clip which features a conversation that occured during a dinner party being held at Brandi's home.
Am I the only one who sees something wrong and just disrespectful about this whole conversation? I'm not even going to delve into the fact that Brandi is only fooling herself if she thinks anyone else believes that she's okay with not being married to this man. There were just so many things that bothered me here: the friend having the audacity to bring up the situation at a dinner party, Brandi's boo being referred to as a king by his friends because he has been allowed to live the married life but isn't married, her boo telling his friends he doesn't want to get married. Too much.
But anyway, watch and discuss folks.
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