Monday, September 19, 2011

Why Heauxs Be Winning: A Satire

Remember when heauxs were unpopular?? Me too! *Roll that track back dj*

The Spelman woman in me says that I shouldn't even be using the term "heaux" or "ho". But when did that ever stop me from doing anything? Should I call them "women who prefer a more promiscuous lifestyle" though? Hmmmm, #details. Anyway, no matter what term we use, this post is addressing what seems to be the motto of 2011, "Heauxs be winning".

Every time I turn around I'm either reading or hearing, "2011 is the year of the heaux" or like I stated before, "heauxs be winning". But my question is, why? What makes a man decide to lock it down with a woman who is known to get around? It seems like many a self-prescribed "good girl" have been quoted as pondering this very notion. I decided, why not find the answer.

One reason and what I think is the biggest reason heauxs win, aside from the fact that society has no shame anymore, is because heauxs love hard and unapologetically so. Much unlike "good girls", who are often afraid to trip fall and land flat on their face in love due to past experiences/let downs. We want love to be perfect or else we know how painful it can be, so we often hold back pieces of ourselves from the guy we like as a way to protect ourselves. If there's one thing we know for sure about heauxs, it's that they don't hold back a damn thing, I mean isn't that what makes them a heaux in the first place? I believe that the same theory they apply to sex, they use for dealing with men in general.

Heauxs are natural risk takers... use that how you want... and in love you have to take risks. They don't fear the possibility that the guy they're pursuing may just drop them on their ass. And if he does, what do they have to lose? Heauxs are fearless, remember that.

Secondly, men are sexual beings. Point. Blank. Period. So, he might not put a ring on the heaux's finger (he actually probably will) but amazing sex and stellar bedroom tricks can totally leave a man stupified. Before you know it, he's wanting to spend time with her actually with their clothes on and even claim her in public. Of course the good girl who's been watching this all go down doesn't know what happened, and honestly, neither does he.

Thirdly, maybe heauxs are really super heros and we all know super heros win everytime. Or maybe they're mystical creatures, like fairies and they cast love spells through their chochas... Anywhoo, no more blogging with moscato.

But my last point is, why shouldn't heauxs win? No seriously. They're people too. I know some really nice and considerate heauxs, I'm sure you all do too. Is it that a woman's sexual history should keep her from reaching her happy place? I can't necessarily agree with that. And we all know, it never stopped a man from doing so.

But then again maybe this is all Timbaland and Nelly Furtado's fault. I mean, who didn't like this song??