Sunday, October 24, 2010

Who the Hell Wants to Get Married??

Video Sundaaay!

So this is a clip from last week's episode of House of Glam. It was my first time watching the show but from what I saw it actually seems to be worth watching. But anyway, something about this clip disturbed me.

Here you have this successful business woman, Brandi, who has two kids by and lives with her boyfriend of seven years... *crickets*. Already there is something wrong with that picture but take a look at this clip which features a conversation that occured during a dinner party being held at Brandi's home.

Am I the only one who sees something wrong and just disrespectful about this whole conversation? I'm not even going to delve into the fact that Brandi is only fooling herself if she thinks anyone else believes that she's okay with not being married to this man. There were just so many things that bothered me here: the friend having the audacity to bring up the situation at a dinner party, Brandi's boo being referred to as a king by his friends because he has been allowed to live the married life but isn't married, her boo telling his friends he doesn't want to get married. Too much.

But anyway, watch and discuss folks.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Dates: The Best & The Worst**

Last night I was filling out this dating questionnaire thing, which may become relavent to this blog in the near future but we shall see (don't you love when people are sharing and being secretive at the same time?). And on the questionnaire there were two questions that prompted me to write this post:

1. What was the best date I had been on?
2. What was the worst date I had been on?

Hmmmmm. Upon reading these questions, I definitely was sent on a trip back through memory lane. My dating history isn't incredibly extensive but I did chance upon some buried memories, especially when thinking about the worst. Once I decided on what they were I figured I may as well tell you all about them too. Since I always like to get the bad news out of the way first here's my worst date EVER!

A couple years ago, while I was still in college, I went out with this one fellow a couple times. Everything was going smoothly when all of a sudden things went horribly awry.

He came to pick me up from campus under the guise of going to the movies. At the last minute, after already telling him I had just eaten dinner, he decides he wants to go out to eat. Again, I reinerate to him that I had already eaten but he insisted. We get to the restaurant and as soon as we sit down he begins pressuring me to order something. Time and time again I let him know that I'm not hungry and am perfectly fine simply sitting there waiting for him to finish. All of a sudden as he finishes up, he goes into a loud tirade about how women should be appreciative of men who offer to take them out and when a man takes them out to eat they should at least order food, even if they aren't hungry. At this point I'm not only embarassed but frightened as well because his tone had turned from friendly to demanding and pushy. I could just see myself ending up on an episode of Law & Order SVU or something. Needless to say, after demanding that I be dropped off back at campus I never spoke to this guy ever again. All texts and calls were from then on ignored and I'm sure he knew why.

Now for the best:
There's actually a tie. The two dates are kind of similar so it's eays to see why it was difficult for me to choose between the two.

Best date #1 occured a couple years ago, one again, while I was in college. I almost don't consider it a date but because time was being spent with a person of interest I think it qualifies. My birthday had just passed and one of my guy friends asked me where he could take me for my birthday. I thought about it for a while and gave a simple response: the Smithsonian. If you know me for real, you know that I have a serious love for museums. Having grown up reading National Geographic, I've always been interested in people, places and history so museums are my go to spot. My friend let me pick the museum and then we literally walked through the entire Museum of American History exploring its many exhibits. As we walked through we discussed what we were seeing and just enjoyed each other's company. There was no dinner, no drinks, and actually no money spent at all. But just knowing that someone was willing to take interest in something I was interested in meant a lot.

Best date #2 is a little more recent than the others. While I was up in New York I went on a first date with a guy. We started out at this cute, trendy restaurant that had some great food. The atmosphere alone made it the perfect date spot. The food was inventive(try cooking thinly sliced beef at your table on a salt rock) and tasty while the vibe was cozy. After finishing up dinner he gave me a couple options for what we could do next(like a choose your own adventure) and since I'm naturally indecisive he told me to just sit back and he would take us to the next destination which he ended up choosing. I was semi-surprised to learn that his choice was Ripley's, you know Ripley's Believe it Or Not. What I always assumed was just a silly tourist trap turned out to be a good time. The same piece of me that likes museums took a liking to Ripley's. It's fun and informative and a great way to break the ice with someone to see what they're really into. This date ended up on the best list partially due to my foodie spirit being satisfied but also because it was creative and different.

Anybody up for sharing their best and/or worst dating experiences? I knowwww you all have some good ones :o)

**If you're a guy that I've dated and one of our dates didn't end up on here; don't be offended! If I didn't insist that you take me home, it means I had a good time lol

Sunday, October 17, 2010

You Can't Handle the Truth, says The Man

I'm taking the blogger's easy way out today and posting a video for you all's enjoyment. It sort of ties into my recent post on why the "why" is important and a couple male responses I recieved surrounding the idea that they don't tell women why things ended because they don't feel we can handle the truth (-_-)

So anyway, enjoy!
For obvious reasons, I'd definitely like to hear the male feedback on this one.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Why the "Why" Matters

A week ago I was having a conversation with my brother and mother about men, women, and relationships. While discussing a recent situation with one of his female friends who found herself questioning the breakdown of a situation she entered into with a guy she met on a night out, the topic of why women can sometimes take a little longer to let things go came up. My conclusion was the following: we are obsessed with knowing "why".

Why didn't things work out? Why didn't he call me? Why doesn't he want to see me? Why did he cheat on me? Why? Why? Why? Why? We drive ourselves crazy wondering why things didn't go the way we planned them out in our heads. It's often not enough for us to just think, "that's life" and then move on. In my opinion, the thought process men possess is nearly the complete opposite; which is something I noticed while discussing the topic with my brother. He feels like women should just be able to chalk it up to experience and move on. I don't feel like it's ever that easy for most women. I'm not one to hold on to situations or most people for that matter; but I do find that I end up going through this same practice of trying to figure out the "why" when things go south.

The quest for the "why" really shows a breach in communication between men and women. Having to pose the question "why" in the first place signals that there are some unanswered questions in the situation. I'm not saying a guy should have to sit down and write a thesis statement on why he stopped calling you, but if he simply & honestly answered the question maybe it would be easier for the woman to let it go and move on. If you found out that you didn't like me like that, tell me. Did I bore you? Tell me. Do I get on your nerves? You can tell em that too. Don't just leave me hanging out to dry.

Why is the "why" even important? I'm sure that's what some(most) of the guys out there are saying since you all are much simpler beings than we are. Well, getting the answer to the "why" can be the beginning to gaining closure. If the guy states why he didn't return your call, why he cheated, why he didn't feel things would work out, all the guessing would be taken out of whether it was you, him, another woman, another man(it's the 21st century people) or some outside source.

Am I the only woman out there who has noticed that we can get consumed by finding the answer to the "why"?