Sunday, July 25, 2010

Babe, I Need to Talk

It really is the little things that seem to creep up and remind me of my singletude.

With all of the changes that are soon to take place in my life, these reminders seem to be coming more and more frequently. For the past couple nights I've had trouble sleeping due to my mind racing back and forth, contemplating all the many decisions I have to make. In the midst of my thoughts I realized that I really needed someone to talk to. If it was 7 o'clock in the evening I would have had plenty of options but at 1 and 2 am, my choices twindled down to nearly none. At that point, I would have given anything to be able to pick up the phone, dial up a special someone and say "Babe, I need to talk". Generally these convos only last about 10 minutes and can end in heavy breathing/snoring by both parties, but there is something about them that calms me and sets my mind at ease.

This void has also shown itself in other, lighter spirited ways. Last weekend I had a cookout in one of the local parks to celebrate my birthday. Well, have any of you ever had to transport a full size grill to a park on foot? Not only did we have to move this grill but we also had to carry the food and plates/cups/utensils/drinks etc. And between the legs breaking off the grill and having the grill take an hour and a whole book of matches to light, I definitely ended up throwing an adult temper tantrum or two.

While I appreciate the mental exercise I got that day trying to figure out how two chics can carry a grill plus supplies to the park, I also realized that all of these things would have been much simpler if I had a man around. Granted we got it done in the end and the cookout was indeed a success, nobody should have to work that hard just to have fun.

Seriously, I'm all for the 'I am woman, hear me roar' stance but I still recognize that there are tasks that are just better suited for men to handle; the whole park fiasco being one of them.
In the same vein, I've also realized that there are definitely times where having a special someone to lean on would be an awesome thing to have.

It really is the little things that can make you appreciate having someone by your side and when that someone is no longer there, that's when you think about those things the most. It's not the dates and being able to tell my girlfriends all about the man I have that I value, but more so having someone to rub my back when I'm feeling sick and to pick up the line when I just need to talk.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

9125 Days

On July 9th, I turned 9, 125(give 5 or 6 for leap years) days old, aka 25. Sounds old right? Actually, calculating the days made me feel much younger. For some reason I thought I was going to end up with some sky high five digit number(shows you all how rusty my math skills are). I also want to thank everyone(roles both small & large) who has been a part of the experiences that have made me the woman I have come to be... the good, the bad, and the ugly.

This whole time since my birthday I've been trying to come up with something witty and thoughtful and deep to say, and you know what I've got for you all?? Nada. The only thing I could think about is how thankful I am to have been blessed with the opportunity to make it a be a quarter century. I'm even more excited about the things that I have planned for my future and definitely anxious to see where life will take me.

In the next two weeks, I have to make one of the most important decisions I've had to make since I decided on which college to attend. To be quite honest, I think this decision is even more important than that. And I am petrified. My nights are sleepless and my mind is always contemplating the 'what if'. But if there is one thing that I know, it's that if(as my motrher always likes to remind me) I actually have the word which is tattoed on my wrist, "Faith", I will be able to achieve and excel in whatever it is that is in store for me.