Monday, November 22, 2010

Guilty Pleasures

As I wrap my mind around all these recent reports on the near extinction of conventional marriage, I decided to take a mental break and write about something a tad bit lighter than usual. Guilty pleasures.

Rihanna & Nicki Minaj
As much as I truly think I dislike these chics, I can't keep myself from bobbing my head or singing along to every damn song they put out. Rihanna is about as talentless as it gets, but I swear she gets the best pop songs the industry has to offer these days. And I think anything and everything I could have to say about Nicki Minaj has already been said. Fake boobies, nose, booty and all there's something hypnotic about her psychotic persona and 'Cat in the Hat' rhymes.

Misogynistic Hood Music
I'm a Spelman woman. I state that to say there are certain songs I'm not supposed to condone(ie. Tip Drill, She Got A Donk, Beat it Up). However, when the beat drops on these songs all my common sense goes out the window and before I know it, I'm droppin it like it's hot lol. It's like the more the song screams, "next coming to the stage is Mocha Kisses, get those dollas out!" the more I like it!

Asian Food
I don't care if it's Chinese, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese or chicken wings, french fries and mumbo sauce from the carry out; if Asian hands have touched it, I gotta have it. Already this week, I've had Asian food twice and I plan on having it again tomorrow.

Getting A Touch Up
Natural haired women, please don't slay me for this one. I had natural hair until I was 20 years old. Now that I've sampled the creamy crack, I just don't think there's any going back for me. It's not because I think it's easier; there is nothing easy at all about sitting in the hairdresser for 4 hours, I just like the way it makes me feel. Like my soul is glowing or something lol.

Singing in the Shower
If there were Grammys for shower singing, I'd win every award. My shower singing is pretty serious. I'll stay in the shower until my toes and fingers prune up because I've gotten so wrapped up in my shower tunes lol. I never sing though if I know someone is right outside the bathroom.

As in Coca-Cola, not blow lol. Most people who know me know that all I usually drink is water and gingerale but there comes a time, like once every other month when I just get a taste for Coke. Not diet Coke or Coke Zero but the regular, 300 calorie a bottle Coke. It's really odd but when I get the get the crazing, I gotta have it.

Want to know what I'm tuning into while everybody else is getting riled up over Sunday afternoon football?? Wonder no more because I'm telling you right now that it's Snapped. That show is full of pure craziness but I swear my eyes are glued for like 4 hours straight. It's like a real life Law & Order or something.

Veranda in NYC, Chi Cha and Soussi in DC. I have a problem and I'll leave it at that lol.

Victoria's Secret
Noone's under garments should all come from the same place. I mean every single piece I own comes from this one store! It's like I walk in and I just can't help myself lol. The whole PINK line and my new found interest in lingerie(FYI, I only think it looks interesting lol) make it hard for me to resist. AND I absolutely adore their Cheeksters; forget those $18 Hanky Pankies and the Commandos.

Welp, that's all I've got for you guys; at least that's all I'm willing to share. C'mon now, my mother reads this blog lol.

What are some of your guilty pleasures?? Don't be shy!

*This admittance is also a warning lol

Friday, November 19, 2010

What I'm Looking For

A couple weeks ago I was talking to one of my guy friends and out of the blue he posed the following question:

"What are you looking for right now?"

I'll admit, the question threw me for a bit of a loop because it wasn't something we had ever discussed before or saw coming. I initially thought of just brushing the questions off and pretending like I didn't know what he meant, but I knew exactly what he was trying to ask me.

This is a question that I've actually posed myself, and every time that I've asked, I knew that what I really wanted to know was "what do you want from me?". All of a sudden I felt what guys all over the world must feel like when a woman throws them off balance with this question. Was this a trick question? Was there a catch depending on my response. I honestly didn't know what to say. My only response was, "I really don't know" and that was the absolute truth.

For so long I thought I knew what I wanted. When I was living in NYC, you couldn't tell me that I didn't want to be on an express train to Marriedville. But now that my life is totally different and every aspect of it is up in the air, that train has just about slowed to a stop.

It wasn't until the other night that I finally realized what it is that I'm actually looking for right now: a bestfriend. I want someone to be there not only in my times of succes but in my times of struggle. Someone to care enough to check and see how my day was, to listen to me and laugh at my jokes. Someone that can answer all my annoying questions about sports and won't mind spending time exploring my favorites places and hobbies. And at the same time, I want to be able to do the same for someone else.

That's not too much to ask, is it?

As I have matured and really come into my own as a woman, I've begun to realize that deciding to be in a relationship with a man should not be a hasty decision. How can I really say I want to be with someone that I hardly even know? I need to be able to get to know someone inside and out. What's their favorite color? Pet peeves? How do they react when someone makes them upset? Do they leave the cap off the toothpaste? You all get what I mean.

In the past I was too quick to say I wanted to be serious with somebody when I hadn't even gotten to know them. I was setting myself up for failure and didn't even realize it. By not developing that friendship first I would end up not getting to see who they really were until things started to fall a part.

So the next time when anyone asks me what I'm looking for... the only response I will have for them is "my bestfriend".

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

For Colored Girls... And Boys

Today I went to see For Colored Girls. Alone, I sat in the theatre actually afraid of what it was that I was about to see. There have been quite a few reviews done of this movie and having had the opportunity to read a couple, I was a bit leery of what I was about to watch. I'm not much of a Tyler Perry fan but seeing as the movie was based off of Ntozake Shange's 1975 poem, I figured it would be worth a shot.

And me oh my, was I correct. The film is absolutely amazing, definitely Oscar worthy. I will even go so far as to say that something, which I can't quite put my finger on, is even beautiful about this movie. It may have been the numerous moving sililoques, derived from Shange's work, which are littered throughout the film and flow like an emotional song from the actresses lips.

One of the most scathing reviews I read on For Colored Girls, was written by Washington Post columnist, Courtland Milloy. Throughout his review he bemoans the fact that black men are being bashed in this film and that most recent movies fail to show black men in a positive light. Well, I have one thing to say in response to his critique: this movie ain't about y'all! And the fact alone that Milloy and other reviewers fail to recognize this is exactly the problem. It doesn't surprise me that many negative reviews have come from men. If you aren't guilty, I don't see the point in viciously attacking this film.

The movie, as well as the original work is about the many faces of black female disempowerment. It's not about calling out black men who have abused, cheated on and lied to black women. It is however about calling out to black women and saying that even though your struggle may be different than mine, I hear you. And I call out to you so that we may come together and reclaim the power that so many of us simply give away; "Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff" anyone??

I ask that not only black women see this film, but black men as well. Actually, I want black men to see this even more. For many women, the stories told in this film are our own so in viewing this piece we are simply watching our stories, our friend's stories, our mother's stories being played out on the big screen. But men, you need to see the different effects that negative & hurtful male actions have had and continue to have on women, some of these being women in your lives. There is no reason why a poem written in 1974 should even still be just as relevant for us in the year 2010 as it was then. Something(s) needs to change.

For Colored Girls does an excellect job of showing the emotional response of women, not only to the pain inflicted upon us by men but the pain we bring into our own lives. If you're simply looking at this movie as a male bashing session, you will totally miss that point. So to the critiques out there who can't see past the fact that this is a Tyler Perry film or that it's a film featuring a majority female cast, my only note to you is to simply get over yourself.