Last week I was honored to attend a dinner and discuss with Mr. Bereolesque himself, Enitan Bereola II, and a few other dinner guests. We discussed everything from whether it's okay or not for your mate to be hanging out at the out on a regular basis, to cheating and sexual compatibility. Out of all the topics we discussed, and the knowledge that was shared, there was one point that was made that night that stuck with me the most and it came from Enitan:
Women don't know the power they really do have in relationships.
The moment I heard this, my brain pumped it's breaks! My girl friends and I had been discussing this very idea ad nauseum for the past few weeks. We've come to the conclusions that many women these days, ourselves included at one point or another, have forgotten how much power we hold when it comes to dealing with men. And that has most certainly left us on the losing end of the relationship scale. Let me be clear though, I'm not talking about the power of sex.
There's no denying that women, particularly young, college-educated, professional women have been beat over the head with statistics that point to the belief that men of equal or greater stature, are in low supply and high demand. And anyone who knows anything about the principle of supply and demand knows what this type of situation creates; a culture where women start to operate out of fear and panic. A panic stemming from the fear that if they don't act quickly, they'll be destined to lives of loneliness. So to avoid such an "undesirable" situation women have begun to compromise ourselves. There's a silent competition going on out here among us ladies and slowly but surely we're throwing all of the rules and subsequently our power out of the window.
We've become 'yes women'. We want to do whatever we think a man likes and wants before some other woman can. But the odd thing that we've neglected to remember, is that men like a challenge. They are easily bored and turned off by women who do everything they ask them to and answer to their every beck & call. Of course they enjoy that in the beginning, who wouldn't? But more than likely he'll end up with the woman who isn't afraid to tell him "no" sometimes and presents more of an interesting challenge for him.
Women forgetting that they have an undeniable power is what has prompted countless articles, blog & books about women needing to have and stick to their expectations &standards. Expectations/standards aren't about wanting a man with 6 figures and a BMW, they're about wanting someone who will respect you. put you before others, love & protect you. Those are expectations and standards that matter. Who cares if he's driving a S-Class Benz, owns his own home, and makes 6 figures if he treats you like sh*t??
You don't have to be caught in a rat race with other women trying to campaign and do the most for a man(who you can only hope will appreciate your advances) because you don't want to be single. If you want a man, go out and get him! But not by compromising your expectations and standards, thus giving up your womanly power. Believe it or not, we're the ones who set the tone in relationship. If you act like you don't care where the relationship is going, he won't either but if you want something serious, make that clear. And if he doesn't seem to be interested in that, pack it up and move on. We lose so much of our sanity pretending to be happy in less than ideal situations because we just want to be with someone. We've got to put that fear aside and embrace that power!
Oh, before I go, there is one last note. While this post turned out not to be about the power of women's lady parts(ha), I have to say that there is power in waiting to have sex with a man. And I'm not saying you have to wait until marriage, but make him work for it. Men are extremely sexual beings, so of course he may try and put the moves on you from what seems like day 1 but that doesn't mean you should oblige him just so he won't run off and become interested in someone else. Even if he does seem irritated by the fact that you won't cave into his desires, he'll also respect you even more for telling him no. That's something many men won't come right out and say but ask one of your good male friends, they'll probably tell you I'm right.
That power of the p-*-s-s-y? Let's use it wisely ladies.