Friday, August 20, 2010

I Quit!

So in exactly a week I will loading up a UHaul and heading back down to DC to reinvade the nest.

That's right, I quit my job a week ago and decided it was time to pack it up and leave the Big Apple behind. It was a tough decision, one that I know will change my life forever. I mean who leaves the city of dreams, right?? I have no idea whether this move will be for the better or worse but I know it's one I had to make. I have a belief that no one ever achieved greatness by following the rules; well, here I go making my best attempt to capture my greatness.

Moving to New York sort of landed in my lap. I had grown up loving this city and always said I wanted to live here. So when I got the opportunity to interview for an internship at my current company during college I jumped at the chance. After landing the intern position with ease, everything else sort of just fell into place and by October of my senior year in college I knew I would be moving to the city I had always dreamed about. It wasn't until I actually got here that I started feeling like maybe this wasn't where I needed to be afterall. Don't get me wrong, there is no other city in this country and maybe even the world like NYC. The city truly never sleeps and if you're looking for adventure this is the place to be.

But what about when that all gets old? When you no longer care about being able to party until 5 am, when you feel like you're too old to have multiple roommates, and the idea of living above a bodega/gym/bank/etc. for the rest of your life doesn't seem all that appealing? I think this is exactly what happened to me. It was like I woke up one day and came to the conclusion that I wanted so much more for my life than that. I want to get married, have a family, start my own business and have a front and backyard for Christ's sake. And sure I could have all that if I moved to Queens or New Jersey, but why would I really want to do that? That's not why I originally moved here. I ventured here to experience what it really was like to be a New Yorker, not to end up in the outer banks when the city I love started breaking my heart.

When I shared the news that I would be quitting my job and moving away, I got the same question from three different work superiors; "Do you have another job lined up??". And simply the answer is "no". I'm leaving behind a career in which I am gainfully employed, at a time when the economy is recovering about as fast as Whitney is recoverning from crack. Am I crazy? Maybe. But do I regret it yet? No. And hopefully I won't regret it at all. I've decided that I want to be my own boss and take total control over my future. I'm scared and nervous, but there is something inside me that says beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can do this and that I will be successful at it.

Everyone is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and this is the way I look at the past three years I've spent calling New York my home. I know that NYC will continue to be a part of my life, even long after I've passed through the Lincoln Tunnel in that UHaul.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Mr. Too Many Options

AKA Mr. Un-mateable.

I'd call him Mr. Undateable, but dating is about as far as you'll get with this man. This guy has so many options that dating is the only thing he has time for. Having lived in NYC for the past 3 years, I think I've met quite a few men who fall in this category. What really sparked this topic though was a recent conversation I had with a one of my best guy friends.

Over lunch we both started talking about our New York woes and he proceeds to talk about the women here:

Him: I'll miss the women here.
Me: (quizzical look on my face) Really? Why??
Him: The women here are so desperate.
Me: ... Seriously???

Nothing about this conversation, as transcribed here, surprised me. Well, not really. I'm actually quite used to the idea that the women here, as in many other major cities, are at the whim of male emotion. But to think of these women as "desperate" was a hard pill to swallow. It made me pause and think back on my own experiences, was I ever one of those "desperate" women? Who, even if only for the chance, will stick around and date a guy in hopes that she'll end up as the chosen one. Put that way, yes, I have been.

As my friend went on to explain it, he meets several women every week. Sometimes these women are nothing more than a drink after work, but in other cases they become dates and bed buddies. When you think about it, a couple women every week adds up to be quuuite a few women. And the unfortunate truth for these women, is that probably none of them will end up being the one he ends up with; I mean currently, he's just got too many options.

The more options a man has, the less likely he is to make a decision to be with one woman. That is until he gets tired of the game playing and having to deal with the emotional backlash associated with dealing with that many women at once (I honestly don't see how you guys do it, women are nuts). In my opinion, men who are in this situation often site their reason for not settling with just one woman as being, "What if I meet some one better?". This whole concept is foreign to me. If I meet a guy who I really like, enjoy being around and can see potential in, I'm ready to take steps to see where the situation can go and grow to become. The last thing I'm thinking is, well what if I meet a guy next week who is better than this guy? And that's probably because options for women ar a bit more limited than they are for men, especially in a city like New York.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying quality men are few and far between, but neither I nor my girlfriends meet a couple men a week who we actually wouldn't mind being seen out in public with. That may seem harsh but I'm keeping it real. But with all that said, maybe some of you guys out there who fall in this category can shed some light on this topic. Let's not be shy :o)