You Are What You Eat

No, this isnt a post about food. I guess a more fitting title would have been, "You Are Who You Meet", but that didn't sound catchy enough for me. Anywho...

One of my friends (Hey Kourtney!) brought up a topic which I definitely thought was interesting enough to write about here. To paraphrase, she heard someone saying that they felt that you are who you attract and that if you desire to be in a relationship but are entering the situation with fear and/or limited confidence those feelings will manifest themselves.

At first glance, I didn't agree with this but once I reeeeeally thought about this, I felt like the aforementioned is dead on. Whether we realize it or not, we sense each other's emotions/each other's auras if I may dare to have a "flowerchild" moment. For example, if someone has a weak aura that lacks confidence, they will more than likely draw in people who not only also have weak auras but lack that same confidence and thus the two will spend their whole relationship feeding off of each others insecurities.


I don't agree with the theory that opposites attract; they do attract but rarely are they successful at staying together. The same goes for people who are exactly the same; eventually someone is going to get tired of looking in the mirror everyday. I do however think that in successful relationships, the two people need to compliment each other. Kind of like puzzle pieces; the two entitites are different but they end up fitting together because one piece has the missing parts that the other needs in order to be completed.

Looking at the successful relationships that I know, this is most often the case; my parents included. My mother has a more outgoing, somewhat in your face personality while my dad is much more subdued and laid back. They both needed each other to balance themselves out. Somebody has to be able to calm my mom down and someone needed to be able to save my dad from spending every waking hour reading newspapers and magazines. I guess my theory is akin to that of the yin and yang.

I also thought about myself here. I believe that I would totally enjoy being in a relationship right now but honestly, that's probably not the aura I currently give off. I think about my recent response to being asked THE question, "Why are you single?" and my immediate response (aside from a mini tantrum in my head) was that I'm focusing on figuring out what I need to do and where I need to go with my life. Thinking back on that answer, I really had to question the fact that that actually came out of my mouth. How can I say I'm ready and willing to work on getting to the point where I can say I want to be in a relationship with someone if I don't even have me together?

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I have to be completely settled and together to be with someone, but if I'm giving off the vibe that I'm not ready to spend time exploring what it would be like with someone else, how can I hope to attract a guy who is ready for that? I think about the past couple guys I've talked to, they were all good, possibly great guys and one day they will make someone very happy but none of them were ready to be in a real relationship. For a while I wondered if it was me, maybe I was doing something wrong. But after spending time thinking about this theory, I now see that it isn't "me" in the sense that I need to improve on my personality or change my look, but it is "me" in the sense that my aura is all wrong.

No one really wants to be in a serious relationship with someone who's life is in limbo. I know I would have my own reservations about it, so how can I expect someone to look at me with my life in somewhat of a quarter-century life disarray and say, "hey, I'll take on the challenge". Granted, that would be great, but most guys and people in general don't have that much patience.

So since we all know that you are what you eat, maybe I'll go ahead and get on a "focused and optimistic" diet.

Thoughts anyone?