At A Crossroad

"I've been waitin' on this my whole life
These dreams be wakin' me up at night"

I Wonder
- Kanye West

I really never thought life would get this complex. I was telling one of my friends a couple weeks ago that it feels like I have a storm cloud brewing inside my head. At this point I'm just hoping that once that storm cloud decides to burst, positivity and understanding rain down. I have so many thoughts and questions about where my life is heading, I literally am beginning to have trouble sleeping. As soon as I lay down, my mind starts thinking about my imminent future.

It seems like everybody I talk to, who's hovering around the 25y.o., range is trying to figure out if where they are right now, both mentally and physically, is where they need to be. So much time is spent mulling over all the questions. Am I doing what makes me happy? Is this where I want to be? If not, where do I want to be? What is my future going to look like? Will I be doing what I love?

One thing I do know, which is what I think challenges me the most, is that I can't spend the rest of my life working in the corporate world. Parts of me are way too free to have to spend all of my days playing by the rules and hoping somebody sees me fit enough to make it to the top. But where does that leave me? Entrepenuership? That sounds so great, but it's so risky. How do I keep my fears from holding me back? I feel like it's so important that I choose the right path now so that I don't end up saying "what-if" or "shoulda/woulda/coulda".

I know you guys see where my dilemma lies. This quarterlife thing is definitely about self discovery. I feel like I'm back in 6th grade again, trying to figure out who I am. I love my parents dearly, but they surely did me wrong for not warning me about this.

Anybody out there feel where I'm coming from? Share.

A little food for thought. This is an oldie but goodie.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The Road Not Taken(1915)
- Robert Frost