I wish I had $20 for every time I've held a conversation with one of my girlfriends, where they were waiting on the guy that they were seeing to decide that they should make things official. I actually hear this scenario so often, I'm tired of it. Why does it seem like relationships nowadays are such power struggles and unfortunately the women are on the losing side of this tug-of-war?
I can't lie, I've experienced this myself. Waiting around in the wings for a guy to decide he's done playing games, done having fun, done hanging with the boys, and is ready to take a leap and settle in for longer than a couple dates. I've watched women wait & wait & wait some more; one of my friends has actually been waiting for 2 whole years for the guy she's seeing to commit. While I think such extremes are an absolute waste of time, I wonder why it is that we wait at all? Are we afraid that if we walk away from the guy who's content with giving us only a portion of himself, we may lose out on experiencing how good things might be with him? Or is the available male to female ratio that skewed in guy's favor that women are "forced" to feel that waiting around is totally worth it?
It seems like the men are out here doing all the choosing, while women are sitting around waiting to be picked. It's kind of like being back in elementary school gym class waiting to be picked for the team. The worst part though is that sometimes you may be the only one out there in the schoolyard and still he's not picking you. Kind of sucks, huh? Maybe this is what "relationship experts" really mean when they say raise your standards. Don't allow yourself to be picked over and pushed to the side all in the name of possibly ending up in the relationship you've fantasized about the whole time you've been waiting. Maybe just maybe it's time for the tables to turn; and no I dont mean start approaching men. However, maybe we need to choose to be smarter about the way we deal with the men in our lives.
The whole time you're sitting around waiting for someone who isn't ready to make the same moves you are, you may be and probably are missing out on other promising opportunities. Ladies, we need to start choosing; choosing to put ourselves and our desires first instead of continuing to be the lady in waiting.
Hmm, this is definitely a disappointing thing to read. I haven't heard much about this "waiting" phenomenon(thank goodness) among my circle of friends. I'm not sure I can support it. Just waiting for some guy to make up his mind? Why isn't it that both parties are growing together in their relationship? Why aren't both parties taking their time to evaluate the strength of the relationship to determine if it's time to take things to the next level. Sorry to have so many questions and no answers. This topic is just puzzling to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that this is puzzling you, that means there's still some hope out there for us lol. Truth is, both people should be growing together in the relationship but I definitely haven't seen it work this way recently. I think it's a waste of time to sit around waiting for someone to make up their mind but quite a few women I know do it.
ReplyDeleteI really thought about this topic while watching the Sex and the City series on dvd. As strong of a woman Carrie is often painted to be, it really was like she waited for Mr. Big to come around so that they could eventually end up together. Yes, she dated other men in the meantime, but he was in the back of her mind the whole time, despite the way he treated her (ie. marrying another woman until he realized Carrie was the one he wanted to be with).
Oh goodness yes! And that was the main reason why I didn't always like her character. It's like she turned to mush every time she dealt with Big. And for the most part he clearly wasn't stressing her the way she stressed him. I couldn't be in that situation.
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