Location, Location, Location

So I'm back like I never left :o)

As I grow up and travel on this road deeper into adulthood, I ask myself a lot of questions about my life. One of them of course being, "Why am I terribly single?". I have really given this a lot of thought. I mean, I'm attractive, smart, funny, caring, ambitious, whitty... I definitely think I have the basics on lock (don't mean to toot my own horn, but *toot, toot*). Finding it hard to answer the question for myself, I've asked some of my good guy friends why they think I'm single. And every one that I asked, who lives here has said, "because you live in New York".

Do you know how tired I am of hearing, you're only single because you live in New York. You better believe I give that comment serious side-eye action everytime I hear it, but is there some truth to it? When I think about women that I went to college and high school with, I am quite the anamoly. Many of those women are in committed relationships, are engaged/married or have a kid or two. And you know what? None of them live here. My girlfriends here, on the other hand, for the most part are single... just like me. I can't think of one female friend that I have who lives in NYC, that's in a committed relationship. I live with 3 other women, and still not a one in a relationship. And believe me, the majority of these women are not single because they are choosing to be but because that's the status that has been chosen for them. Having grown up in DC with parents whose Southern roots run deep, and attending college in Atlanta; the idea of being single at 30, 35 is not something I have envisioned for myself.

Those of you who know me, know that I've been living in NYC for the past 2 1/2 years. I love this city, and have done so since I was a little girl. There's something about the life that pulsates within this concrete jungle that draws me in like a moth to a light. However, since moving here right after college, my relationship with the city has grown to be quite a love/hate affair.

Living here is really like being in a bubble. When people mention venturing away from the city, aside from taking vacations, many people give a "why would you do that?" face. How many different cities do you know of where you have so much culture & entertainment in one place? But aside from NYC being a bubble of sorts, I've also noticed how distinct the New York frame of mind is. For the most part I would say that the men and women who are drawn to this city are dreamers. For those of us who make it past the first year, we know how hard it is to live here. But despite how difficult and frustrating it can be to live here; people stay, in hopes of making it big.

That pursuit of success, whether it's in the field of banking, entertainment, fashion or otherwise; gives people a focus and drive that I've never seen anywhere else in such large numbers. And because everyone who lives here knows that we're all here for a bigger purpose, I think we get stuck in a timewarp type of situation. We, ESPECIALLY THE MEN, don't have time for relationships and "nonsense" like that; at this moment, while we're still in our 20s, NOW is not the time. For relationships and children, there's always tomorrow, today is about making it.

Hence, why my new nickname for this city has become Never Never Land. We hold down jobs and pay bills but that's about as "adult" as it gets. It's not uncommon to encounter a 30+ yo with no spouse, children, or property to call their own. People here date like they're still in college and you know what, it's all good because that's what everyone else is doing. Unfortunately, for a Southern girl at heart like me, that's not enough.

Am I reaching here? Or is the big apple really a big playground for adults who have little time & patience for anything other than attaining success? Maybe I'm just seeing the grass as being greener outside of this bubble I call home.