Do You Have the Key to My Lock?

This week I had a different agenda for my blog, but before I get there I have to talk about an experience I had this week.

Last week I made plans to attend a social event I heard about through a blog I read that is penned by Essence relationship editor, Demetria Lucas, who would also be co-sponsoring the event. It wasn't until I was all committed to going that I took a look at who else was sponsoring the social gathering. Low and behold it was a match making site. Instantly I broke out in a minor sweat. What had I gotten myself into?? Having already invited a friend along, there was really no turning back. I decided that instead of getting all nervous, I would see this as a challenge. Honest moment: being in a situation where I'm "forced" to meet new people, especially men, is just nerve-wrecking for me.

As I and my nerves arrived to the event I found out why it was called a "Lock and Key" party. Every woman was given a lock and every man was given a key, or two and throughout the night you are supposed to get to know someone of the opposite sex and see if their key opens your lock. The first 10 "couples" to find each other to be a match won a aproze. There are definitely some sexual undertones here, but I found the concept to be super cute.

As most situations would have it, the women outnumbered the men, naturally setting the tone for men to be the choosers. What a surprise right? But what was actually interesting was the dynamic between men and women, which I think may have a lot to do with why we have such a disconnect. Many of the women were there in groups of 3 or 4 and were huddled in corners laughing and talking amongst themselves. Most of the men on the other hand came alone or if they came with a friend, still chose to mingle solo. I'm not a guy but if I were one, the sight of 4 women with arms folded talking amongst themselves would make me a little nervous and maybe even cause me to decide to approach someone who at least appeared more available. Is this how you men out there feel when you see women in groups like this? Definitely makes me think twice about the way I present myself when I go out.

Having observed this early on, I decided to be the antithesis, if you will, and set out to at least appear as approachable as possible. My friend and I stayed close to each other but not so close we could be mistaken for Siamese twins. And after ordering a lemondrop for the bar, that had more drop than lemon(as my friend put it) I puffed out my chest and put on my best smile. Hey, I've always been told you attract more bees with honey than with shyt. And maybe this philosophy has some truth to it because by the time the night ended, I had a couple more numbers in my blackberry than I arrived with. Does a smile really make that much of a difference?

I guess you all will have to stay tuned to see if anything comes of this, but if nothing else I got in some good practice :-)