Monday, February 1, 2010

Why Independence Will Leave You Lonely

Ladies, we have become far too independent. For all my "I don't need anybody", "I can do it on my own", superwomen out there, I need you to hear me out.

For many of us in this generation of 20somethings, we grew up in single parent households spearheaded by strong women. More than likely she made it very clear to you that you don't need a man for anything; anything he can give you, you can get for yourself. And from this, many of us have taken to heart the idea that dependence upon a man is a hinderance to our success and well-being. Why can't you be successful in life and also find comfort in knowing that you can find someone who you will be able to rely on that won't take advantage of you? Life to me is a two person job. Sure you can do it alone and people do, but do you reeeeeally want to??

Too bad we've become so busy with asserting our independence that we forget that men actually like to feel wanted and even needed. If we were meant to be totally indepedent, self-sufficient beings; we'd all be asexual and feelings of loneliness and longing wouldn't even be a part of our psyches.

I really have come to think that so many of us are single because of our own doings. I doubt that there are many men who want to hear you tell them that you can do bad all by yourself and that you don't need him. If that's the case, you should be perfectly content with being alone for the rest of your life. There is no reason for you to have to climb the ladder to successs alone. We can all benefit from a helping hand or nudge especially if it's from someone who genuinely cares.

I don't think women are the only ones guilty of this though, I think men can be the same way.

Am I on to something here? Or am I 100% wrong? Somebody let me know...

3 comments:

  1. I agree with you 100%. I myself coming from a single parent home and seeing my mother do everything without a man, I at one point thought that I could do it all by myself as well. I had this mindset for a long time until now. I realize that I can be independent but there is nothing wrong with some support from a man. I feel that being in a relationship that is filled with love , support and encouragement will lead to success as well as a lasting relationship. Having a man show his support for a decision that you have made as well as one that encourages you to go for what you want has to be gratifying. Aside from the emotional aspect of it, I don’t want to have to shovel the snow all by myself nor move the heavy furniture all because I have decided that I can do it all by myself. Lastly once I climb that ladder to success who will I celebrate with if I’m doing bad all by myself??

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  2. I agree as well. You already know where I stand on the issue of independence. It's so hard to try to break the habit of doing things for myself and letting someone else do it for me. But I'm trying though, I am. Although I was raised in a two-parent household, I've always just had a very independent mindset. It's just a flaw that I am working to improve.

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  3. Yes!! Get rid of that independent bullshit!! lol Just kidding... but not really. We have to learn to let men know that we trust them or else we'll always be in a constant battle. Even though they may not admit it, I think men like to show us what they can do for us, even if it's something we can do for ourselves. But what do I know? I'm not a man. I wish some guys would start commenting though, maybe we could get the word straight from the horse's mouth.

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