How important is it for men and women to be friends before they take it to the next step?
I spent my lazy Sunday afternoon watching one of my favorite moives; Brown Sugar. For those who may not have seen it, it's the tale of two childhood friends who eventually grew a part, having moved to opposite coasts. By the time they reunite, the main male character, Dre', is planning to get married to his girlfriend of a few months while his best friend Sydney, who is visibly jealous, settles into her new life having moved from LA to NYC. Sydney also falls for a basketball player who she evetually gets engaged to. Long story short, Dre' and Sydney come to learn that they can lean on each other for support, more so than on their significant others, and their friendship turns into romance.
I've heard so many times that you should be friends first before you make the leap to lover. Apparently such relationships are more successful. I truly don't know if that is the case or not, but it kind of makes sense. I would think that the person I want to end up with as my life partner would be my best friend, some one that I'm not just legally bound too but that I would rather be around more than anyone else I know. However, it seems like so many of us jump head first into relationship mode and we forget to really get to know the person we claim to be interested in.
What about those people that we already know? You know, those "just friends" that you have of the opposite sex? Would you date any of them? Like really think about it. I know most of my male friends have come about because they were guys who at one point tried to be more than just my friend but for one reason or another we (or maybe just me), decided we should stay in the friend zone. I've actually had one of my good guy friends tell me that men and women can't simply be friends. After I asked him to elaborate, he went on to explain that guys do not see women as friends... women they associate themselves with are either someone they want or wanted to date/bed or already have. Is this true guys? With the way many guys I know think, this probably is the truth. Honestly why would a guy take the time to get to know a woman if he didn't at least have some sort of attraction to her, even if he just likes the way she looks?
Maybe I have guy friends that if I reeeeally thought about it, I should have given an honest chance. That friend that makes me laugh, keeps it one hundred, is honest, dependable, and ambitious ... 2010 may just be a year for firsts.
Share your thoughts!!
When you think about it, physical attraction happens alot quicker than mental (for lack of a better term) attraction. So a person would not even get a chance to really get to know about a person's mentality/personality before they feel at least physical attraction. Only way this happens is if they aren't really physically attracted to them at all. So you hardly ever just meet someone and say "I want to be their friend" before you say to yourself "She's cute".
ReplyDeleteI agree with "JustRod"...now, both of my "serious" relationships were with guys I had platonic freindships with first (for a few years), however, I had crushes on both of them years before we actually dated LOL..and a couple guys I had platonic friendships with, admitted at one point in time that they had crushes on me...smh...so yeah lol..BUT, I definitley think being friends before entering into a relationship is absolutely wonderful! You get to know each other for who you really are and if you can accept someone, the good & bad, you can truly love them.
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