Me - Raw

I'm 24 yrs. old. and have spent all but 6 months of my life terribly* single. If you're assuming that I feel depressed, sad, or angry about this, you're wrong. If anything, I'm perplexed. Sure I've spent a little time being angry and attending meetings with the man-hater club, I think every woman has at one time or another.

There has even a period of time when I blamed myself for my single-tude. Maybe I was too shy, too mean, too sassy... who knows? But I've run through the gamut trying to figure out why I have spent so much time riding solo. The truth is, I still don't know the answer! And maybe there actually isn't an answer, it could all be about the timing, my location, anything.

My curiosity with this subject, prompted me to ask my guy friends (some of them ex-more than friends) what kept them from pursuing something more serious with me, and the responses have ranged from "you're too passive" and "you were too good for me" to the standard "it's not you, it's me". Regardless of the response my frustrations surrounding my singleness have not been quelled. I will come out and admit that I honestly don't like serial dating or being single, not one bit.

Meeting people can be fun, but constantly getting to know people, investing your time and feelings in someone, only to end up back at square one just becomes taxing on my emotions. And because I am an adult, I can also admit that dating often entails sex and for the most part I don't like kissing people I hardly know, let alone entertaining the idea of allowing them into my bed or crawling into theirs all willy nilly.

Maybe, juuuust maybe writing and hearing the feedback from others on the way I view myself and the way men and women relate to one another, will help me come to understand "me" just a little bit better.

*I only used the term "terribly" when referring to single bc it is my belief that you are single until married. I don't care how long yall have been together. I'm not saying being single is terrible, it can be lonely, but terrible by no means.